I Was a Travelling Door to Door Encyclopedia Salesman

Sometimes, just a few words are all it takes to completely alter one's perception of something . . . One time, back in the days when I was a travelling door to door encyclopedia salesman, we went to Plamondon, Alberta. Just a little village of a couple hundred people, there was nowhere near enough "territory" for a crew of five salespersons to work.  No problem; this was a common situation for us.  One person would work Plamondon itself, and the rest would drive out each day, dropping one person off in each neighbouring town.  We would all meet up again every evening at the motel in Plamondon, shoot some pool and drink some beer at the motel bar, go to sleep, and do it all over again the next day.  We did this for three days, and I was the one who got Plamondon. On the first day, I knocked on about three quarters of the doors in town, but didn't make a sale.  At the bar that evening, I saw all the same people whose doors I had knocked on, and drank and pla...

I was going to share the story of my visit to Plamondon, Alberta, but I realised that what got me there would make an worthwhile introduction.  It was the spring of 1994, and I was well and truly burned out from selling encyclopedias. You see, I had been living in Ontario and had attended a major University there from 1990 until 1992, when I got kicked out (grades).  One thing led to another, and I found myself unemployed and directionless in Vancouver, which led to my stint as a travelling door to door encyclopedia salesman.  After a few ups and downs (more downs) over the months that followed, I had an epiphany during what would turn out to me my second-to-last road trip that I was ready to go back to University and not mess it up this time. I liked being in Vancouver, so when we got home, I applied to UBC, and then set out for the road again with a lighter heart.  I felt like I was back on track for the first time in years. My good mood lasted about 2 weeks,...

Gotta start somewhere, so here's a story for y'all. One time, back in the days when I was a travelling door to door encyclopedia salesman, we went to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. We . You see, we travelled in teams.  That is, crews.  Typically five people, one of whom would be the "crew leader".  The crew leader was the owner of (almost invariably) a Volkswagen Jetta and was responsible for all transportation costs, in exchange for a cut of his crew's commissions.  For most of my road trips in my six months in purgatory, it was Mitch Clinton.  More about him in future posts.  Sometimes, the boss would also come.  John Schlesinger. Ah, John.  What an a**hole.  Cheap, petty, and mean, but usually a lot of fun, and almost always good company, as long as you were getting the job done.  It's John I want to talk about today. Now, people who've never been anywhere really cold might not know what a block heater is, but if you ever want to...

"Back in the days when I was a travelling door-to-door encyclopedia salesman..." That's how hundreds of stories told to my friends in the last sixteen years have begun.  Who woulda thunk that a crappy high-stress job taken out of desperation at a directionless time in my life would have supplied me with a lifetime of memories?  Well, my friends (and wife) certainly seem to appreciate my reminiscing about those days, and since everybody and his dog seems to have a blog these days, I figured, "Why not me?"